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Test

Posted by richedge on February 28, 2012 in Uncategorized |

Test

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43 things before I’m 44 — the 43/44 list.

Posted by richedge on April 7, 2011 in Uncategorized |

Well. Its been 10 days since my birthday, so now I have only 50 and a half weeks to go before I’m 44.

JHBPrincess writes a list of things to do in a year, and the list has as many items as her chronological age.

So, in no particular order.

1. Learn 1,000 Chinese words

2. Have sex with a man

3. Go to a swingers club at least twice. Once to check it out, the next time to get laid.

4. Grow my turnover 5% month-on-month for 12 months (so far so good)

5. Pay off all my debts except the bond

6. Get up to date on all my tax

7. Run a project that nets me R100,000 in clear profit

8. Do 10 keynotes or speeches for at least R10,000 a speech

9. Get the fuck over myself

10. Build a nest egg of savings equal to 6 weeks turnover

11. Go on holiday in December for 4 weeks, no questions asked

12. Upgrade my video equipment, my Mac and / or get an iPad

13. Attend at least two industry conferences

14. Crack that top qualification I’m working on

15. Be filmed having sex by a third party so I can make that porno I want to make

16. Make at least one month’s turnover by selling “things” not “time”

17. Knit a jersey for the boy

18. Sort out my car

19. Buy another scooter

20. Hit 12% growth on that charity project I’m involved in

21. Find a “partner in crime” who I can go on adventures with (also known as have a sordid, passionate, all-consuming affair)

22. Exercise 60 times by my birthday in 2012

23. Have at least one male multiple orgasm (apparently you have to do a LOT of masturbating to get it right)

24. Record five of my songs and sell them on iTunes

25. Read at least five novels in a language other than English (a minimum of three in German)

26. Give at least another nine speeches in Zulu

27. Blog at least 45 times at Rich Edge.co.za

28. Blog at least 45 times for my own websites (that’s 22 per website per year — twice a month)

29. Make the numbers for that new digital client I’m getting

30. Sign at least 5 paying web-hosting clients so that the web-hosting becomes self-funding

31. Have at least two threesomes MMF and FFM

32.

33.

34.

35.

36.

37.

38.

39.

40.

41.

42.

43.

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A questionnaire

Posted by richedge on March 25, 2011 in Uncategorized |

I recently visited jhbprincess.co.za and filled in her questionnaire…
Date___Late March 2011________

Name:_______Rich Edge____________
Age:__Old enough to know better_____
Gender:__Straight male____

What colour is the markers panties today?
Polka dots
Do you believe the panties match the bra?
No, I don’t believe they do today
Do you think the marker likes to have her panties off or pulled to the side when being fingered?
It depends, but the marker does like a bit of foreplay with panties pulled aside — until it gets too frustrating. Then they must come off!

Does the marker enjoy the ‘69’ position?
yes
What do you suppose the marker likes most about giving blow jobs?
The marker is very proud of her excellent blow-jobbing technique. There’s nothing quite like the texture of a hard cock in a girl’s mouth, knowing the girl has complete power over the boy.

SECTION TWO. (Fill in the blanks)

Right now, as I’m sitting here
__ on the couch
thinking about
__blowjobs.
I would love to
__watch your Royal lips tease my hard cock until I’m fit to burst, while I finger the Royal cunt gently and ever more insistently as she squirms with delight.

I have wondered how it would feel to
watch you masturbate in the bath with the shower head attachment and then _ stroke myself while I watch

When I _
__visit jhbprincess.co.za__
I really want to
__seduce you_____.
_ Writing these answers
makes just want to
__ masturbate_______ right now.

I think if I could
__get hold of you__
I would
_like to have a long and suggestive IM chat with you._____.

SECTION THREE (Just complete one.)

You walk into my office, I can see by the look on your face this is going to be hard and fast, I walk up to you – i’m on my toes, trying to kiss you – you grab the back of my hair, force me down to my knees…
Your face is in my crotch now. You are kneeling on the carpet. I unzip my trousers. I am not wearing any underwear. My cock, already semi-hard, jumps out at you. You take it in your mouth, leaving lipstick on it.
I play with your beautiful thick hair, tugging it slightly as I feed you my hardness.
Your hands move under your skirt and pull your panties aside. Your mouth clamps around me as you start to finger your own pussy. You’re wetter than you thought you were.
It’s difficult to concentrate on giving me head while your groin fills with warmth as your fingers do their work. Your other hand is pulling down on my balls. I’m so turned on I can hardly breathe.

You’re touching yourself just as you like to be touched. You are dimly aware of the carpet pressure on your knees. But your hand is frigging yourself harder, touching the nub. You’re close. You pull my balls down and suck hard. As I start to come into your mouth, you start coming too.

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My wife’s porn

Posted by richedge on March 16, 2011 in Uncategorized |

i couldn’t sleep. What i usually do is go downstairs, boot up my mac and go to my super secret flickr account with the dirty pictures.
Then I lie on the downstairs couch with the Mac balanced on the old tum, and turn myself on for an hour or so.
Then, of course, I spend a few moments of frantic activity before closing the Mac, cleaning up and returning to my ladywife blissfully sleeping in the bed upstairs.
Then I often fall asleep.
But that night I’d got home late from some or other meeting.
And when I got downstairs for my insomnia cure, I realised my own computer was upstairs next to the bed.
I wasn’t about to use Ladywife’s Mac for the super secret flickr account with the dirty pictures: oh no, not me. Far too security conscious. What would happen if the flickr account logged her in by mistake thinking she was me — nope. Stay well away.
So I booted up her browser. On a whim, I wondered what was in her browser history.
Well, gentle reader, I’ll tell you.
“pussy lips in stockings”
With the quote marks and all!
Very very specific porn. I followed her clicktrail as best I could and found some very ordinary pictures of (surprise) pussy lips in stockings.
Another search term was “wet pussy” but let’s face it, that’s going to bring up millions of hits. It’s not much of a search term.
I found it touching that she has a semi-secret porn life. I know she watches my porn DVDs if she finds herself at home alone of an evening. She particularly likes the big-breasted porn (she has rather small breasts). Large noombies don’t really do it for me — I’m not really a breast fetishist.
I was thinking of texting her or suggesting to her that she wear stockings one day without knickers — see if that does it for her.


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A long-ago list

Posted by richedge on December 25, 2010 in Uncategorized |
In 2005 I discovered http://www.43things.com
And this is the list I put up there, way back when. Over the years I’ve ticked some things off (I speak fluent French and Spanish now, I got married etc) but most of the list is depressingly static. Do I really want these things? Or not?
So a friend of mine asked me the other day to share my list with her and I dredged it up and commented on the 32 things that remain on it…
Here it is:
1. build a wiki about my family
Haven’t done this yet. I always think of it at this time of year. Maybe one day. I do have the family history up at on a website and I’m semi-good at keeping it updated.

2. Be Focused And Determined And Make Things Happen
I do this actually mostly, I suppose.
3. Start drawing again
OK but when, exactly? It’s obviously not that important to me.
  
4. figure out what to do with my life
I’m getting there. I’m probably going to focus on three things next year, one of which may turn out to be alrode.co.za. We’ll see how that goes.
5. Write a book   
I’ve got 17,000 words of memoir down already. A bit more, actually. Wrote it in about ten days in November. I’m working on another one. Well, I’m thinking about working on another one, anyway.
6. Start and build a new business
So far, fuck all.
7. Learn chinese
I gave that a reasonable go, but gave it up to concentrate on speaking proper German. My german is better, but not “proper” and my Chinese is nowhere.
8. Have a beautiful garden
I couldn’t be arsed with gardening. That’s the truth of it.
9. Implement GTD
I did that, and became frighteningly productive. I now have absolutely no “to do list” system at all.
It seems to be working so far.
  
10. Do one thing that terrifies me every year
That’s not really enough, is it? should be once a day or so!
  
11. Hear someone cover one of my songs
I’ve actually done this — it’s great!
12. Save up 3 months worth of salary for emergencies
Still on this list since 2005.
13. Listen to every album on Rolling Stone’s ’03 list of ’500 Greatest Albums of All Time’ and determine which ones I like most
What the fuck was I thinking?
14. make a porn movie
I still want to do this.
15. pierce my nipple
I’m not sure about this. I’ve been prevaricating for years about it.
   
16. learn to invest  
Maybe I should get 12 done first.
17. Be a great dad to my kids
So far, so good.
  
18. Make R100,000 in 100 days
How hard can it be? It should be: R100k in TEN days.
19. start a podcast
OK. and then what? And say what? About what? (been on the list since 2004)
  
20. identify 100 things that make me happy (besides money)  
And then I work out that money doesn’t make me happy anyway.
21. get a smartcar
With two kids? I’ll keep the Audi, thanks.
22. write a screenplay
Yeah OK
23. “have an art exhibition
This would be cool! See. #3
24. have a spotless house
With two kids?
  
25. Stop wasting money
I don’t have any right now, so I can’t waste it. So I suppose that came true.
  
26. Become financially self-sufficient
What does this even mean?
  
27. “Rediscover how powerful I am  
I’m getting there
28 “Learn to be happy and optimistic again
That’s doing OK
29. find out who’s subscribing to me :)
I no longer have that e-mail newsletter, rendering the whole thing obsolete
  
30. own a house
See #26 #16 #12
31. Learn Cocoa  
Maybe. I don’t know. Better to learn something I can use to write iPhone apps with instead.
32. have a love affair
Still haven’t made that one. I’m working on it though. Any ideas?


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What I’m learning from Debbie does Paris

Posted by richedge on November 9, 2010 in Uncategorized |

So I’ve been watching porn. It’s been interesting, it really has.

We started off (the ladywife and me) with a French movie called le sexe qui parle, translated as “Pussy Talk” in the American.

It’s about (as much as porn films can be ‘about’ anything) a woman whose vagina develops the ability to talk.

If you can speak French, I recommend it. The vagina becomes quite bossy and insatiable. The woman who the vagina belongs to is really at her vagina’s mercy.

And aren’t we all at the mercy of our genitals? I know that I am, and that mostly men are. Perhaps women aren’t quite as ruled by their crotch as we men are, but still. It was an interesting premise.

Then we watched Deep Throat.

We had seen the documentary Inside Deep Throat which was an interesting look at the movie and the controversy it caused.

It’s only an hour long. We were expecting the standard 90 minutes or so of a feature film.

What I’m learning from porn

What’s interesting is how porn is all about men. It’s not a new observation, but I’ve been watching this 70s porn with a more critical eye. The nice thing about the French movie in particular is that it’s not all about the money shot. Sometimes the couple gets going and we watch them for a bit, and then we leave them to finishe up on their own — much like a mainstream movie might.

There’s also more focus on faces and the women generally seem to be really enjoying themselves, which is refreshing. I find it incredibly arousing to watch a woman’s face as she comes, and the French movie gives us that. There’s a plot with actual drama. The couple argue during the movie. Their relationship is shaken by the woman’s increased libido.

Deep Throat is about a woman whose clitoris is in her throat instead of her vagina.

There’s some quite clever editing (which gets overdone) but the acting is bad and the sex is monotonous and pedestrian.

Still, the whole idea behind the porn seems to be to find women who are always ready for men. The men don’t have to do anything except show up and get hard. That’s especially true in Deep Throat.

Women’s porn

I don’t think women are any less “visual” than men, which is a generalisation often cited. I really enjoy good “stroke” fiction. There’s nothing quite like a one-handed read, and I listen to a lot of erotica on audio books in the car.

I think the dynamics need to change so that women are having sex on their terms. For once, I’d like to see a guy go after a girl and be rejected by the girl and have to go off and masturbate or something. I’d like to see women making the men work a bit harder to get the sex that women want.

Somebody said once, and I think it’s as true a generalisation as any: women need to be intimate to have sex; men need to have sex to be intimate.

Where to from here?

I’ve got Debbie Does Dallas, which we’ve started watching,and it shows promise.

I’ve also downloaded a Candida Royalle movie, which I’ll report back on.

I think I’m going to have to (gasp) buy some 70s French porn, and some 21st Century women-made porn.

Mostly I like all the porn watching because it’s getting me laid for a change! ;-)


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Porn shops

Posted by richedge on November 3, 2010 in Uncategorized |

I went into a porn shop the other day. I like porn shops. I like looking at porn.

I went into a porn shop in Maritzburg once. There was a lovely woman behind the counter who looked me in the eye and greeted me and made me feel not like a dirty old man. Which is sometimes how I do feel in these places.

The best places are the ones you can take a woman into without feeling too horrible. There’s a chain called Lola Montez in Johannesburg — very up market, very chic, very accessible to a woman. Also very expensive. But the places are well lit and the staff are attentive and knowledgeable and unembarrassed.

I went into an Adult World the other day, which is not upmarket, and is not chic. They have an cellar called Ramrods. Black and white cartoony “Tom of Finland” type paintings on the walls.

I said to the counter staff I wanted to take a look, and they let me. It’s against company policy of course, but still. I went down there. There were maybe half a dozen men dressed like I was, in business clothes — chinos, shirt with a collar. Everybody avoided my eye, which I found disconcerting. Part of why I was there was to try to own my own sexuality without shame.

There are showers down there, and cubicles smelling strongly of semen. On the walls are tiny colour TV sets showing grainy gay porn. I didn’t look that closely. The walls are all painted black so it’s really dim down there.

Nobody was having sex that I could see, although I didn’t stick around for very long. I suppose people go there to, as Dan Savage puts it, “rub one out.”

I have fantasies about going down there with a small toiletries bag and saying in a loud voice:

“Hi guys! Who’s for some action? I’m up for a blow job. Do you want to blow me, or do you want to watch?”

And waiting there for somebody to come out and see what the fuss is about.

And then watching them as they go down on me. There would be some other guys stroking themselves as they watched me getting serviced. One of them would approach and I would give him a hand job with some of the lube I had in the toiletries bag.

Then one of them would fuck me slowly while somebody else finished blowing me.

Then we would finish up in the showers, clean up, and get back to our days.

I think about these things, I do.

Anyway, I didn’t do any of those things. I bought a Loslyf or a Stokstyf and flicked through it in the car. It was a very disappointing experience.

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Day 13: A picture from last summer. 3-way is off. Sigh.

Posted by richedge on August 6, 2010 in Uncategorized |

Last summer? I can’t even remember that far back. It’s been a brutal, long winter.

And this weekend’s three-way is off. The couple are both married, but not to each other, and would rather use their time together, well, together. Without me.

That’s fair enough. What’s the point of having a mind if you can’t change it?

Focus. Last Winter. Sorry. Summer.

Last summer, I went to my wife’s family’s place near the sea. We had a six-month old baby at the time.

I hate holidays.

There’s no nookie on these holidays at the best of times (and this wasn’t the best of times), and I remember now that I forgot to take my camera with me.

So there was no reason to get up early in the morning to go and take photos. So there was no reason to be sober. My wife wasn’t putting out, I didn’t really want to be there, so I suppose I wasn’t.

So I think I got to the coast, got pissed, and didn’t sober up until we left. I exaggerate slightly for effect.

I’m a real charmer, aren’t I?

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Day 12: a Black and White pic

Posted by richedge on August 5, 2010 in Uncategorized |

For my birthday that year, I paid somebody to take photos of me in the nude.

This is one from that shoot.

It was an interesting experience, and one I’d like to repeat.

If you’re in Joburg and you have a camera and an eye, who knows?

  Rich30.jpg

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Day 11 – Post one of the oldest pictures you have in your Picture folders Day 11 – Post one of the oldest pictures you have in your Picture folders

Posted by richedge on August 4, 2010 in Uncategorized |

This is from a holiday before I got married in Knysna.

I used the 300mm lens, so these canoeists are a long way down.

You can actually see their reflection in the water.

I like the way I composed this shot.

knysna canoeists.jpg

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